When is infidelity okay? NEVER!!! Why is it then that so many people are cheating on their spouses? Why have Christians and Non-Christians alike decided to defile their marriage bed with others? In 2003 I entered into Men's Ministry. I was Deacon over Men's Ministry at my church, and had a thriving and active ministry. What constantly befuddled me however, were the amount of marriages that I saw torn apart due to infidelity, INSIDE OF THE CHURCH!
We all know the statistics that only 50% of marriages will make it. Your chances of making it get higher, the more anniversary's that you go through. However, I have seen several marriages that are 25+ years in the making, be washed away overnight from a careless act. I am not talking about forgetting to take the trash out, or neglecting to oil the swingset, but rather the act of letting their eyes, hands, and actions wander. Satan is doing everything he can to defile and tear apart the marriage bed. What are some ways that he accomplishes this?
In a previous Blog we talked about the errors and dangers of pornography. This is a huge trap in peoples lives that ensare them and leave them longing for more. Where do they get that false sense of comfort satisfied? Many resort to coworkers and friends of the opposite sex. I would like to evaluate the process of how affairs take place. What seems like an innocent conversation at first leads to falsified comfort for the other person. Everybody wants to feel wanted. If you are not keeping the home fires burning like God intended, then the natural response, as sinful as it is, is to seek it out from other sources. Never is it appropriate or acceptable to flirt with disaster.
The news is saturated with politicians, sports stars, CEO's, pastors, etc... succumbing to the wiles of the opposite sex while bound by the ties of Holy Matrimony. What does this do to a marriage? It instantly destroys it. It is as if you just took a 50 gallon drum full of termites and let them loose in a log cabin. The eating away at the core has already occurred. Does this mean that forgiveness can not come? I believe it can, but from everybody that I have counseled, their marriages have never been the same. Trust is not earned overnight, but it can be wiped away in seconds and take years or a lifetime to regain.
Proverbs 2:16-19 says, ".Wisdom...will save you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God. For her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead. None who go to her return
or attain the paths of life."
It is important to understand that affairs do not just happen overnight. You don't wake up one day and say to yourself, "Hmm... I think I will wreck my marriage and destroy my family all under the guise of instant gratification." No, it creeps up silently and innocently. Most of the time it is through casual conversation that turns into gossip about what your spouse is not doing to meet your needs. It is absolutely imperative that you be watchful to what the signs are and not fall into this trap.
I have made a committment and decision through a covenant to guard my eyes, not to look at another woman lustfully. This is a daily battle, but one that I have resolved to spare my marriage from the depths of statistics. Will you guard your heart and not be one of the 50% that haven't? This is not to say that all marriages that end in divorce are due to infidelity. However, 100% of marriages that end in divorce are due to selfishness between the two spouses. We were made to serve and love each other. We were not made to mate like rabbits with any thing that hops along. GUARD YOUR HEART!!!
We all know the statistics that only 50% of marriages will make it. Your chances of making it get higher, the more anniversary's that you go through. However, I have seen several marriages that are 25+ years in the making, be washed away overnight from a careless act. I am not talking about forgetting to take the trash out, or neglecting to oil the swingset, but rather the act of letting their eyes, hands, and actions wander. Satan is doing everything he can to defile and tear apart the marriage bed. What are some ways that he accomplishes this?
In a previous Blog we talked about the errors and dangers of pornography. This is a huge trap in peoples lives that ensare them and leave them longing for more. Where do they get that false sense of comfort satisfied? Many resort to coworkers and friends of the opposite sex. I would like to evaluate the process of how affairs take place. What seems like an innocent conversation at first leads to falsified comfort for the other person. Everybody wants to feel wanted. If you are not keeping the home fires burning like God intended, then the natural response, as sinful as it is, is to seek it out from other sources. Never is it appropriate or acceptable to flirt with disaster.
The news is saturated with politicians, sports stars, CEO's, pastors, etc... succumbing to the wiles of the opposite sex while bound by the ties of Holy Matrimony. What does this do to a marriage? It instantly destroys it. It is as if you just took a 50 gallon drum full of termites and let them loose in a log cabin. The eating away at the core has already occurred. Does this mean that forgiveness can not come? I believe it can, but from everybody that I have counseled, their marriages have never been the same. Trust is not earned overnight, but it can be wiped away in seconds and take years or a lifetime to regain.
Proverbs 2:16-19 says, ".Wisdom...will save you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God. For her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead. None who go to her return
or attain the paths of life."
It is important to understand that affairs do not just happen overnight. You don't wake up one day and say to yourself, "Hmm... I think I will wreck my marriage and destroy my family all under the guise of instant gratification." No, it creeps up silently and innocently. Most of the time it is through casual conversation that turns into gossip about what your spouse is not doing to meet your needs. It is absolutely imperative that you be watchful to what the signs are and not fall into this trap.
I have made a committment and decision through a covenant to guard my eyes, not to look at another woman lustfully. This is a daily battle, but one that I have resolved to spare my marriage from the depths of statistics. Will you guard your heart and not be one of the 50% that haven't? This is not to say that all marriages that end in divorce are due to infidelity. However, 100% of marriages that end in divorce are due to selfishness between the two spouses. We were made to serve and love each other. We were not made to mate like rabbits with any thing that hops along. GUARD YOUR HEART!!!
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