Speaking of traffic, I feel that I have gotten a glimpse into what HELL is going to be like. I felt like I was trapped in the inner sanctum of Hades every time that I ventured into downtown Gatlinburg or Pigeon Forge. One day it was pouring down rain so we figured that we would go to Forbidden Caverns. I have to admit that it is a beautiful cave system that is totally outside of civilization. However, in order to get there, you must first drive through the bowels of hell. It is a pre-requisite that you view every last gimic that is being marketed and sold as if this Vanity Fair of sorts was to be your daily sustenance and lifeline.
Allow me to vent for just a second... My dear wife wanted to buy the boys some shorts, so she very politely put in a request for an outlet mall venture. Hades, here we come. The crazy thing is that you can see how bad the economy is down here by the amount of stores and outlet malls that have closed. We went to an outlet mall on one side of the street in Pigeon Forge, and it was a ghost town. Then we went to another large "red roofed" one on the other side of town, and it too was empty. Folks if you want a pulse on America's economy, that is about as good as it gets.
Forgive me for digressing, we finally found a "Tanger" outlet mall that was so swamped with cars and robots aimlessly walking around, but we could not find a parking place to park our steed. I guess because all of the other outlet malls had turned into ghost towns with tumbleweeds blowing with the wind, the robots decided to all congregate at this one that was still open. Eventually after circling the parking bays what seemed like hours, we found a spot to park the Kia. My wife was not convinced that it wasn't handicapped, but I told her that it wasn't. After all, I do have that tinge of pain in my knees when I have to go to any mall of sorts. By the way, there was no book store for men, no wi-fi hot spots, no tool stores worth anything; just benches for the emasculated men to sit on for hours while their wives drag them from one store to the other while they swiped their plastic. HOLD ME...I think that I need counseling. It wasn't that bad. Thankfully, I married a sweetheart that doesn't enjoy shopping all day long.
My point to this rampage is that I have no point. It was just useless drivel about how I think I might have had a glimpse into HELL by driving through Pigeon Forge & Gatlinburg, TN. Now before you write me and say, "Greg, you have no theological understanding or comprehension of what hell will be like..." this blog was meant to be fun. I hope you enjoyed my commentary. Moral of the story if you come to the Smokey's (which I have enjoyed for many years) stay in the mountains, hike in the National Park, and stay away from Hell...