Gregory T. Jacobs
 
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 When is infidelity okay?  NEVER!!!  Why is it then that so many people are cheating on their spouses?  Why have Christians and Non-Christians alike decided to defile their marriage bed with others?   In 2003 I entered into Men's Ministry.  I was Deacon over Men's Ministry at my church, and had a thriving and active ministry.  What constantly befuddled me however, were the amount of marriages that I saw torn apart due to infidelity, INSIDE OF THE CHURCH! 

We all know the statistics that only 50% of marriages will make it.  Your chances of making it get higher, the more anniversary's that you go through.  However, I have seen several marriages that are 25+ years in the making, be washed away overnight from a careless act.  I am not talking about forgetting to take the trash out, or neglecting to oil the swingset, but rather the act of letting their eyes, hands, and actions wander.  Satan is doing everything he can to defile and tear apart the marriage bed.  What are some ways that he accomplishes this?

In a previous Blog we talked about the errors and dangers of pornography.  This is a huge trap in peoples lives that ensare them and leave them longing for more.  Where do they get that false sense of comfort satisfied?   Many resort to coworkers and friends of the opposite sex.  I would like to evaluate the process of how affairs take place.  What seems like an innocent conversation at first leads to falsified comfort for the other person.  Everybody wants to feel wanted.  If you are not keeping the home fires burning like God intended, then the natural response, as sinful as it is, is to seek it out from other sources.  Never is it appropriate or acceptable to flirt with disaster. 

The news is saturated with politicians, sports stars, CEO's, pastors, etc... succumbing to the wiles of the opposite sex while bound by the ties of Holy Matrimony.  What does this do to a marriage?  It instantly destroys it.  It is as if you just took a 50 gallon drum full of termites and let them loose in a log cabin.  The eating away at the core has already occurred.  Does this mean that forgiveness can not come?  I believe it can, but from everybody that I have counseled, their marriages have never been the same.  Trust is not earned overnight, but it can be wiped away in seconds and take years or a lifetime to regain. 

Proverbs 2:16-19 says, ".Wisdom...will save you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God.   For her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead. None who go to her return 
or attain the paths of life." 

It is important to understand that affairs do not just happen overnight.  You don't wake up one day and say to yourself, "Hmm... I think I will wreck my marriage and destroy my family all under the guise of instant gratification."  No, it creeps up silently and innocently.  Most of the time it is through casual conversation that turns into gossip about what your spouse is not doing to meet your needs.  It is absolutely imperative that you be watchful to what the signs are and not fall into this trap.

I have made a committment and decision through a covenant to guard my eyes, not to look at another woman lustfully.  This is a daily battle, but one that I have resolved to spare my marriage from the depths of statistics.  Will you guard your heart and not be one of the 50% that haven't?  This is not to say that all marriages that end in divorce are due to infidelity.  However, 100% of marriages that end in divorce are due to selfishness between the two spouses.  We were made to serve and love each other.  We were not made to mate like rabbits with any thing that hops along.  GUARD YOUR HEART!!! 
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 We have all heard people walk around saying that they are "Sinners Saved by Grace."  We say many things naively in life that might not be theologically sound.  We tend to regurgitate what we hear preachers and televangelists say, and those around us throughout the day.  Many people say, "The Bible says, God helps those who help themselves."  Uh, NO the Bible does not say that anywhere.  It is important for us to inspect and study the Word of God.  II Timothy 2:15 says, "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. " 

I started researching this area of "Sinners Saved by Grace."  This is absolutely the truth.  I WAS a sinner saved by Grace.  Ephesians 2:8-9 tells us, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast."  So we know that Faith does not save us, but rather Grace.  We know that Faith is the conduit in which we are saved.  It is as if you were standing on top of a 10 story building that is on Fire.  There are firemen below with a Net ready to catch you.  The step off of the building is Faith, but the Net is what saves you, which is Grace.  The question that arises is are we still Sinners?

I started researching this and what I found was quite astonishing.  I looked up 42  passages in the New Testament about sinners.  Every passage was a preface prior to Grace Justifying that person.  I am not trying to be deep here, but we have dumbed ourselved down long enough to what the scripture has to say.  The term sinner was used before Grace transformed them.  That means that the term "Sinner" is past tense, and should be substituted with the term "Righteous" after the transformation of Justification.  The term Justification is a legal term that simply means: "No Guilt Found."  We have been found not guilty of our sins, as Jesus took them on himself 2000 years ago.  It is as if God is saying, "If you accept My Son as you on the cross, then I will accept my Son as dying for you on the cross."  We have to surrender and sacrifice our flesh and independence in order to accept the Free Gift of Grace.

You might say that this is semantics and has no bearing whatsoever on your walk with God.  I would utterly disagree with you, and feel that it is tantamount in your theology and way that you look at God.  To say that you are still a sinner, is incorrect, unless you are.  This is not to say that we do not still sin, but we are no longer sinners.  II Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"  WOW... That means that we do not posses or claim that stinking rotten flesh any longer, but rather we have been transformed into Children of the Most High God.  Romans 8: 17 says, "Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."

Romans 11:25 states that we are grafted into the Vine.  This means that we are part of the Royal lineage and birthright.  He wants to clothe you with Garments of White, but He will not put that over a stinky heart.  If you view yourself as a "Sinner" then I am quite certain that you are hindering the Holy Spirit from completing a perfecting work in your life.  He wants to make you Holy, but can't if you won't let Him through negative views of yourself. 
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Remember in yesterday's post, I said I was going to address some taboo topics this week?  Well here we go.  It does not get much more taboo or secretive than this.  I have to say up front that this is an area that I have struggled with over the years, but have sought freedom and deliverance from.  Is it easy for me to admit that now as as I published this in my book.  However, I try to live life as an open book.  We all mess up in life.  The difference is taking account for your actions, admitting and confessing them, and turning them over to God. 

So many people have this closet that they retreat into.  This closet is filled with stuff that they think only they know about.  The problem that arises is that nothing is kept secret from God, and eventually your sins will find you out.  Do you have a closet that you go into?   Yes this is figurative, but what things have you kept hidden from others?   I refuse to have a door on any closet in my life.  I have swung that door open a long time ago, and let Jesus light shine in to every corner of my life.  This is why I do not have a problem talking about past addictions, and issues that I currently am gaining victory over.  Instead of allowing stinking, rotting corpses to accumulate in the closets of your life, it is time to fling the door wide open.

In Joshua 7 we see a story about Achan hiding treasured items.  When Joshua and all of the Israelites defeated Jericho, they were told by God not to take anything from the city.  Achan did not obey this command, but rather stole Gold, Siver, and precious garments.  When his sin was found out, as it always will be, not only was he taken outside the walls of the city and stoned, but his whole family as well.  You can see here how parasitic sin is and far reaching.

Promise Keepers recently came out with an astounding statistic.  85% of Men between the ages of 18-30 are addicted to Pornography.  60% of Men in churches are addicted to Pornography.  Do you think we have a problem folks?   Yeah!@!@!  One of the best investments I ever made was spending $49 for a computer filter called Safe Eyes.  You can find out more about this at www.xxxchurch.com  This is a ministry that reaches out to those with sexual addictions.  Guess what, not only is it men that are getting addicted to pornography, but women as well.  We are seeing more and more married women that are the initiators of affairs, whereas years ago it was primarily single ladies that were labeled as sluts.  Not anymore.  The desire to fill that sexual lust and appetite is strong.

Bottom line, there is freedom from this vile filth from the pit of hell.  Don't tell yourself that you do not have a problem, because it is only a fractional addiction.  God wants us to be pure and to take control of our lives and actions.  You will not be able to grow closer and deeper in your walk with God until you take control of this area of your life.  Do not be naive and think that your husband or wife does not struggle with this.  I learned to be open about this a long time ago with my wife.  Not an easy or fun Blog for me to post, but one that is essential to your survival...
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I had a conversation with a friend of mine recently about disease.  His wife is fighting cancer, my wife beat cancer, and many of our friends are dealing with this dreaded disease as well.  I am one that is not afraid to share what I feel, or the convictions that I keep.  So many people do not want to talk about taboo topics, as they are afraid that they will hurt or offend people.  Yet others pretend to know the Bible, when in reality they do not.

The question has arisen as to whether God, the creator of all things, is the creator of disease.  I believe the answer to this to be NO.  I would like to reference the book of Job as my reasoning behind this.  God and satan were conversing in chapter 1, and God says that Job fears God.  Satan challenges God by saying that Job is untouchable because God has put a shield of protection around him.  God agrees to withdraw his protection but tells satan he can not touch his servant Job.  Satan causes servants to be slaughtered, fire to rain down from heaven, and wind to destroy his house.  Still Job is faithful to God.

Chapter 2 of Job says that satan and God conversed again and satan complains that unless he can pursue bodily harm on Job, he has no chance of cursing God.  God then says that he will remove his hand of protection off of Job, but that satan must spare his life.  So satan goes out and strikes Job down with painful sores from the soles of his feet, to the top of his head. 

We can see that the boils did not come from God.  The fire, wind, and murders did not come from Him.  They were derived from satan.  You can make a case in Exodus of the Egyptians being struck down with the plagues from God.  My argument to that is that God is capable of anything.  He is almighty, and all powerful.  The plagues were their judgement for pharoah's disobedience to God.  Satan is only allowed to do what he does, because God allows him to. 

Bottom line is that due to the curse of man in the Garden of Eden, we live in a sinful fallen world.  This is not the life that God intended for man to live.  He did not intend for man to toil by the sweat of his brow while working, or for women to have pain in childbirth.  It is not His intent that any should suffer or perish, but have everlasting life through Him.  Where the conundrum lies, is in the fact that Good People Die.  Why is this?  Some things we will never know the answer to.  One thing I am certain of, is that we will not cease in our tears or mourning until we are in heaven.  Sorrows will follow us on this earth, as this is the curse of Adam. 

Some of my Pentecostal/Charismatic friends make the case that cancer and other dreaded diseases are demons, and thus should be cast out.  Further yet, some of my holistic friends make the case that we have the diseases on this earth today because of the diets that we eat, and all the chemicals and pesticides in the earth.  Still, I have heard the case made that Aids is God's curse on homosexuals.  Whatever the case may be, satan is roaming through this earth seeking whom he may devour.  I am sure of the fact that the demonic is real, but am not sure that you can cast out a demon of cancer.  I am sure that we have way too many pesticides and chemicals in our soil, but not sure that we would ever be able to rid ourselves completely of all toxins. 

One thing that I am sure of, I will continue to pray for God's divine intervention in peoples lives.  If they are healed, then so be it.  If they die, then so be it.  I do not believe that because somebody wasn't healed, it is a lack of faith on their part.  On the flip side, I do believe in Divine Healing, and know that God can also heal us by taking us home.  Please do not mistake this with people saying "God just needed them in heaven more than we did on earth."  No he didn't.  He does not Need us.  People die...  It is not fair...  Wake up and realize that we will not be WHOLE and PERFECT until Jesus' return.  MARANATHA... Come soon Lord Jesus!!!
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 In 1992 I had the opportunity of going to Marengo Cave over in Indiana with my youth group from church.  I had been spelunking before in small caves, but nothing intense.  I had even been to Mammoth Cave and had taken the main cave tour.  However, I had never had a guide say, "Hey here is a little horseshoe shaped opening that is about 20 feet long.  If you would like to go through it, you enter at your own risk."  Being 6'6" and a whole lot skinnier back then, than I am now, I didn't think anything could possibly go wrong.  I remember my best friend Nelson Wesley going in first.  Then I followed up behind him, and Martha Figg was behind me.  Nelson was a skinny drink of water and slipped on through there with no problems.  I had no problems at all, until I got to the curve and bend in the horseshoe.  PANIC...

My helmet got stuck in the bend while I was crawling on my belly.  I guess I should mention that this was just wide enough for a person to crawl through, and was only 2 feet tall at the max.   I wiggled and turned trying to get my helmet and the rest of my body unstuck.  The more I wiggled, the more fear set in.  I can remember freaking out thinking that they were going to have to use dynamite to blast me out of the cave.  Nelson was in front pulling my arms, and Martha was in the rear pushing.  It had to have been a sight to behold, but at the time I can assure you it was no laughing matter on my end.  I WAS PANICKED...

You might ask me if I got out of that cave okay.  To that I reply that I am fairly certain that over the last 17 years I have not been residing in that cave and therefore writing this Blog still stuck.  However, things can tend to remain in the past and be stuck in our minds.  I was never claustrophobic until that time.  I now have no desire to be in tight spaces.  I took my family this last summer to Mammoth Cave, and I can assure you that this experience was in the fore front of my mind the whole time. 

How many times have you been stuck in that Horseshoe of Life?  Did you panic?  Are there still scars that remain from the past?  Do you live in fear of this happening again?  II Timothy 1:7 says, "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of Power, Love, and a Sound Mind."  It is very easy to fret and freak out when you are stuck in certain circumstances, however just know that you can lay there in patience.  Wigging out and flailing all about is not going to unloosen you anymore than dynamite will.  Keeping a level head and depending on others for help will. 

Beware ahead of time for the Horseshoe Curve, and prepare yourself not to be stuck...
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When I was in high school, my dad took my brother and I to Lake Cumberland.  He rented a cottage and a pontoon boat, and we were set for the week.  There was one slight problem, the pontoon boat did not have a big enough motor to pull my brother and I skiing, not to mention on tubes.  So we did the next best thing.  We tied a yellow ski rope to the back of the boat, and tossed it in the water.  We each took turns jumping in the water and having dad pull us around on that rope.  It had to have been the funniest site.  There were families roaring past us with double inboards going upwards of 60+ mph.  Here we were just trying to entertain ourselves with a boat with less than ample power, and a rope...

We have all heard the Nationwide Insurance tag line that says "Life comes at you Fast."  How true that is.  One particular cruise around the lake, I discovered that if you angle your arms downwards, then you shoot like a rocket to the bottom of the lake.  COOL...  I felt like Einstein must have felt when he discovered the theory of relativity.   What I had forgotten at that point in time, was that Lake Cumberland was man-made, and much of it had been a  flooded farmland.   It is easy to just glide across the top of the water, and not realize what is below.  All of a sudden, I must have been 20 feet below the surface and tree tops started whizzing by me.  Talk about Life coming at you Fast.  I learned in a jiffy that what appeared to be really cool at the surface, was not very wise in the depths.

How is life coming at you Fast?  One minute you are cruising along, and the next minute you have tree tops coming at you.   We have all seen lives rocked from divorce, illness, deaths, job losses, etc...  The question comes into play, "Who do you turn to in time of need?"  So many people say that I am just a religious nut.  Okay, I accept that as a badge of honor.  I would rather be passionate about my realtionship with Jesus Christ, then just coasting through life trying to get by. 

When my wife Amy was diagnosed with cancer in 2006, Life Came at me FAST...  At first I was depressed, distraught, discouraged, etc...  I wasn't sure what to do.  I am thankful for those that surrounded about me during that time, but more importantly, I am thankful for the Firm Foundation that I had in Christ prior to heading into that storm.  Please don't wait for Life to smack you upside the head before you wake up.  The time to have depth and maturity in life is not when the bottom falls out, but when you are coasting along at a steady pace. 

Are you prepared for when Life Comes at you Fast...
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Everybody is afraid of something.  I know, I know, somebody is going to write me and say that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind."  II Timothy 1:7  Guess what, they would be absolutely accurate.  However, that does not dismiss the fact that we have certain things in life that we distaste.  For me it is snakes and spiders.  Not a big fan of the creepy crawly.  I know that everything has its purpose on this earth, and that God created them.  I just choose not to be a big fan.  It is the same reason that Grizzly Bears and Lions are not big fans of me coming into their domain and messing with their young. 

With that being said, I was thinking of an embarrasing story that happened to me about 2 years ago.  My children would love that I am humiliating myself by telling you this story.  Do you know how I know?  Because to this day, they still find a way to remind me of it in front of my peers and remind them of how much of a sissy I am.  So, if you see me on the sidewalk, I do not give you permission to call me a sissy, as I  might have to just throw down on you :)

I get a frantic call from my mom about 2 years ago (who I might mention is not a big fan of snakes either), and she tells me I have to come up to her log home immediately.  I pile into the truck with my 2 boys and we head up to grandmas.  What I didn't know was that she had walked into her bathroom and there above the door when she was exiting the room, was a snake coiled up smack dab above the door on a ledge.  When I went into the bathroom to see what all the fuss was about, I literally screamed like a little sissy girl and about shed my skin.  I bolted out of that bathroom as fast as I could.  Do you remember the movie  "The Great Outdoors" with John Candy and Dan Akroyd?  It was the same type of incident that they had, when the bat flew through the house.  I was freaked out.  I might add that my two boys were ready to reach up there and grab the thing.

I wasn't about to grab that snake, and I sure wasn't going to let my boys grab it.  So we called a man down the road, Lafayette Masters, to come rid us of our problem.  When Lafayette came over, he reached right up there and grabbed that snake.  With that same motion, this 6'6" hunk of a man (that means husky not attractive:) jumped up on a chair.  Lafayette got the biggest kick out of that, and so did my boys.  After all, it was just a garter snake.  For all I knew, it was a king cobra bound and determined to slay us all.

A few months later we were visiting the Game Reserve in Frankfort at the KY Game, Fish, and Wildlife Center.  There was a young girl sitting there holding a 6 foot Black Snake.  All three of my kids instantly gravitated towards that serpent.  Guess what they said?  "Daddy won't come over here and pet that snake."  I told them that I had been putting them on all these years, and that I had no fear of snakes.  I went right up to that snake and started petting it.  I held it and carressed it.  After my kiddos and wife picked their jaws back up off the ground, I very quietly slipped around the corner...  I shuddered and shook, and used a whole jar of Purell Hand Santizer on my hands and arms.  I thought I could quite possibly start vomitting at any moment.   After I composed myself, I went back around the corner to where my family was standing.  My kids said, "Wow dad, I am proud of you for touching the snake."  What more did I need than that?

The life lesson is___________________?  Post your comments so I know...
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Have you ever had the opportunity to mess with dirt from a garden after it rains.  Funny thing about weeds, they are really difficult to pull up when the ground is dry and hard.  However, if you try to pull them up immediately following the rain, the soil is loosened.  I find myself intrigued by this scenario every day.  Sometimes life can be messy, but it is in those messy times that the grace of God is portrayed to us.  What messes in your life are you working on?  Are you getting your hands dirty either during the storms of life, or immediately following the torrential downpours?  It never ceases to amaze me how many people do not have a desire to learn from their mistakes.  It is the definition of Insanity: "Doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results."  The only way that we get different results is when we get our hands dirty.

Every day that goes by, I am working on something in my life.  I am free and open to discuss this with most anybody if they ask.  I find that I don't have time to talk about superficial things on an ongoing basis such as weather, sports, etc...  Sorry if I just stepped on some toes:)  The question that I pose to you is "What are  you learning in life, and are you getting your hands dirty?" 

I find myself working on several things at once, as we should.  I am constantly wanting to pursue a greater depth and maturity with my wife Amy.  Even still, I am learning this thing in life that we call parenting.  Then further God is teaching me what it means to be His child and for Him to train me up in the way that I should go.  Life is ever changing, which requires us to be elastic, otherwise we will break.  Not always clean and fun, but if you allow it, wisdom will come.

A dearly departed friend of mine, Tom North, used to pray a simple prayer.  For the last 7 years, I have been praying it as well.  It goes like this, "Lord, let me be a witness and example unto others today, and if necessary, open my mouth to do so."  This is pretty straight forward.  The amazing thing is that He answers that prayer.  I can honestly say that every day for the last 7 years the Lord has allowed this prayer to come true.  Sometimes 10 times per day.  Other times it might just mean being there as a Christian Husband and Father to my family.  Whatever the occasion, God wants to use us.

The question is not "Why would God want to use me?"  Even still it is not "Am I ready to be used by Him?"  It is simply that He DESIRES to use us, the question is, "Are you WILLING to get your hands dirty?"...
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